Thursday, 30 May 2013

Why this half term break has been about one

It is unlike me not to work in the holidays. I read the tweets, you all have reports to do. Some of you are producing fab schemes of work incorporating SOLO and other ingenious things. I take my hat off to you.
I should be doing some more VLE resources and planning for after half term then thinking about next year. I know this. 

This week started with good intentions. I was going to do some reading, professional reading. I have a PILE of books (2 SOLO ones, the 'Oops' book, Lazy Teacher's guide and plenty more) that I have bought and just don't get the time to I'm a little Game of Thrones obsessed, currently trying not to read too far ahead and failing!

Thing is my head is not in the right place. I can't bring myself to think about school, at all.

The fact is I am trying to regroup after failing to get a new job, a job I really wanted at that. I wanted this for 2 reasons. I love my job but can't bear what is happening to the school, it is being taken apart piece by piece and we can do nothing. I am avoiding specifics here but suffice to say there may not even be a school to work in soon. I also felt it was time....time for a new challenge.

What's even more gutting is that the interview went very well. I thought I'd nailed it and even though it would be a massive challenge I was up for it. When the head phoned I just knew it wasn't good news. She told me she just couldn't be sure I was ready but that I had interviewed very well. She said she still couldn't decide whether she'd made the right decision to say no.

Needless to say I was upset and really down. I was able to be reflective about it later in the week and felt better in the knowledge I knew where I was going to be and what I was doing in September, that doesn't mean I'm pleased about it but it is helping me to focus.

So half term then, what's the problem you may ask?

I have no motivation at all. I am so tired of the way I am being treated I just can't bring myself to do anything work related.  I don't want to see anyone or particularly talk about it.

So I have actively taken the decision to do nothing until Sunday. Brave move maybe but necessary for my own sanity.

It's not like I've even done a lot really, the time has actually flown I can't believe tomorrow is Friday but I do think it has helped my brain to switch off for a bit. To ignore the nagging coming from my laptop case is hard but I don't think I'd be that effective even if I started!

So I've been to the gym every day and tried different classes to try and find something new I like. Making some progress with this and with some perseverance I may lose some weight before the summer. I've ordered a coffee table, made some phone calls and started trying to organise my counselling. I've spoken to the union about my difficult work situation, cooked nice things and eaten them. I've had my nails done and watched a lot of tennis. I've booked a weekend away out of half term as a treat for my other half and tried (failed!) to find him a birthday present.

I will be doing my best not to get too stressed on Sunday knowing I have a lot to do. I will have to be reminding myself of my choice and why I made it.

Hopefully the Sun will come out for the last half term!

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